How Do You Measure Success?

How do you measure success? What picture comes to mind when I mention the word success? Are you only considered a success if you have a high paying job? How can you truly be successful in this life?

As a stay-at-home mom, I might get referred to as not having a 'real' job. Others may look at my unmatched clothing, my barely brushed hair, and the circles under my eyes and deem me not successful. The world might think that my mundane life isn't purposeful or of much value. But my success isn't defined by the world. My success is defined by God, who has called me to be a mommy.
Titus 2:4,5

"That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed."

I know what the world calls a success. In my own eyes have I fallen in the world's trap by thinking that everything I do isn't very important.  I'm not that successful business woman. I'm not climbing the career ladder, or bringing home the big paychecks.

I'm changing diapers, cleaning up accidents, kissing boo boos, cleaning everything, teaching children, playing referee, cooking, nursing a baby all day, running around juggling two or more things at one time, and so much more. What's successful about that?

Do I only call my day a success if all of my to-do list is checked off? Am I only successful if my house is spotless?  Was my day productive if everyone made it through school without a meltdown? Am I a success for only taking care of my children? Am I a success if supper turned out good? How do I measure what I do? It's nothing glamorous. How do I know what I did today was good enough?
I can't deem my day successful by comparing it to anyone else's day. I can't think, 'I got more done than her, I'm successful.' 'Or look at Julie's house, mine never looks like that, I must be successful.'
I can look at God's Word and measure what I've done to His teachings.
1 Corinthians 4:31

"Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God."

If I want to know if my day was a success and not a complete failure, I can ask myself if I tried to glorify God in everything I did. 

When my daughter was having a hard time in school, did I patiently explain to her how to solve the problem? If yes, then that was a success, because I showed her compassion.

When my two year old was fussing and getting into everything, did I yell or calmly take his hand and help him? If I helped him, that was a success. I showed him God's patience. 

When my children were fighting, and were having a hard time getting along, did I punish everyone or did I talk to them calmly? If I talked calmly, I was showing them mercy. 

All the hugs, kisses, and smiles were reminding my children that they are loved. And that's definitely a success. 

Today, I successfully pointed my children to Jesus, and that's more valuable than any paycheck. I reminded them that they are loved and wanted. I showed them that success comes in all shapes and sizes. And I showed them it doesn't take the world to validate success, it only takes God. 

So, if you feel less than successful, remember, not to measure your life to someone else. Measure your life to God. Are you living your life to bring glory and honor to Him? If you are, then it doesn't matter what the world says, you are truly successful.

Joys of Motherhood

Psalm 113:9
"He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD."

Motherhood is filled with many joyful times. There's nothing like being a mommy. Mother's hearts are full of love, compassion, and laughter. 

I have five children, one girl and four boys. My oldest turned 7 this month. The boys are 5, 3, 2 and 7 weeks old. 

Sometimes, life is crazy. But it's the life God has given me and I wouldn't trade it for another. 

Laughter is definitely needed to diffuse a tense situation. 

Here are somethings about my day that you probably can relate to, or either laugh about. 

I am homeschooling a second grader, first grader and a child in K4. 
It never fails, when I'm in the middle of a lesson, my 2 year old has to go potty. If I don't take him, he will run around naked. My baby will start crying because I put him down, and my once focused children will be running around the house, because mommy left the room. This is an example of the joy of homeschooling. 

My younger children think that art should not be contained to paper. My walls are decorated with crayons and markers. This is the joy of creativity. 

Like I said, I have four boys. If you come visit my house, and you need to use the bathroom , and you happen to see water on the floor, it's probably not water, so try not to step in it. This is the joy of boys. On a side note, it doesn't matter if I just cleaned the bathroom either. 

My two year old is aspiring to be a gastroenterologist. He thinks it's fun examining his poop and wiping it wherever he can until mommy finds out. This is the joy of exploration. 

My children are all about showing off their muscles. They each tell me daily all the things they can pick up. To name a few, Daddy, Mommy, our house, the whole world and the list goes on. This is the joy of raising super heroes. 

A house full of screaming, wrestling, tickling, running around, and just being crazy. This is the joy of play time with Daddy. 

Hugs, kisses, endless 'I love you,' notes, smiles, sweet baby slobber, good helpers, cuddles, and so much more is the joy of a mother's heart. 

God's protection

We had just got in our van to go to church. We noticed the dark clouds and decided to drive through town instead of going the hwy. We live about thirty minutes from church.

As we drove into town, we noticed how backed up traffic was. We thought it was just because the roads were really getting flooded. It looked like a river.
As we got further up the road we saw a car stuck in the flooded road. At that time, I received an alarm on my phone about a flash flood.
I was getting nervous. The more we drove the more flooded the roads seemed. We passed a few vehicles stuck in flooded roads. We saw a van drive through a very flooded parking lot only to get stuck.
It was lightning really bad, and I was thinking we should have stayed home.
I knew with more storms approaching and night coming, it would be harder getting home. We finally made it to church. The road that the church was on was also getting flooded.
We decided that we had better go home or risk getting stuck in the flooded roads. We dropped something off at church and turned around to go home.
My husband decided to go the hwy this time, since the roads in town were pretty bad. I was still kind of nervous. The lightning was bad and at times it was raining so hard we couldn't see the roads. It was already dark, so I was praying none of the roads ahead were flooded.

God protected us and safely brought us home. I was so thankful to see our house. And that my family was safe.

There are many instances in life where we face a storm, maybe it's not really a storm but a trial that life brings. God will always be everything we need when we are in a  trial, storm, or whatever life may bring.  Just look to Him, because He's always faithful.

There Arose Another Generation.

Ever since I was little, I loved children. In fifth grade, I used to go help out the kindergarten children. A few of the children called me their 'mommy.'

As a teen, my friend and I started a Bible club, ministering to public school children.

At 18, I went on a missions trip to Romania, and took part in Vacation Bible School to  village children and in orphanages, telling the children about Jesus.

And through the years, I have worked in different children ministries.

I married my husband who was/is involved in children ministries. He's the youth director at our church.

I say all that, to say this,  my heart is sad when I look at the state of our children as a whole. I'm not just talking about non church children, but children who go to church.

I was looking at pictures of our old youth group at church. I could count with fingers the ones that were still at church. You spend your time ministering to them and praying for them, and at a certain age, they  are gone. Young people that just seem to disappear from the radar, so to speak.  

Young people that are not rooted and grounded in faith, but who are ready to get out as soon as they can.

What is different from the ones that disappear, and the few young ones that I could count on my fingers?

My children are little, and they go to church because we go as a family. It's very important. But when they get 18, will they too disappear from church, only to walk through the church doors on certain holidays? Or will the faith that mommy and daddy have, become their own? Will that faith lead and guide them in fellowship with God?  

Christian parents can get distracted and think that their children will turn out right.

But here's somethings that I've noticed that distract us and send messages to our children that contradicts our words.

If we put every recreational activity above church, then we are showing our children, that church is not the most important thing. If we make sports top priority when our children are little, don't expect them to be faithful to church when they get older.
There is nothing wrong with sports, but if it keeps you out of church, then there's a problem.

If our children never see us reading the Bible, and only picking the Bible up when we go to church, then it'll be just another book to them.

If they never see us praying, we can't expect them to pray and seek God, because we don't do it.

If we are all about praising Jesus in church and living contrary to the Bible the rest of the week. Our children will want to stay away from that hypocrisy.

If we punish our children for bad behavior by not allowing them to go to youth class, then we are telling them that youth ministries aren't  that important, and only good kids get to go.

If we fill our home with fighting, strife, and contentions then we will drive our children away from our faith. The reason is because we are supposed to be Christians, and they will associate Christians with being fake.

I know how hard it is raising children. We as Christian mom's, don't want to fail our children. We want to raise young people that love God. We have so much responsibility, and sometimes we let things slip. Not on purpose, but because we are so busy. If we aren't intentional about showing our children Christ, then we won't. I think distraction is a tool of Satan.  We waste so much of our time on things that aren't so important. I have a hard time with this myself.
We are in a battle. Satan wants to destroy our children's lives, and alot of us stand by and let him. If we don't guard our children's hearts, who will? If we don't fight for them, no one else will.  We can't just hope they will stay in church when they get older. We can't just assume since they are raised in church they will love God.

We have to fervently pray for our children, and show them by our lives that God is real, and the best life is one lived for Him. If we don't want our children to be another has been, then we need to determine to serve God. We need to stop playing church and be real. The lives of our children depend on it.
Judges 2:10 says
"... and there arose another generation after them, which knew not the Lord," 

I don't want my children to be apart of the generation that doesn't know the Lord. Who will stand with me, and faithfully point our children back to Him, not only by our words, but by our lives? 

Mommy School

I have been out of school for a long time. I'm not even going to say how long, I don't want my age to show.  But I don't ever want to get to the place where I'm not learning something every day.

I had a pediatrician recently tell me,  "You have five kids, you know everything." I'm not sure if he was being funny, but I definitely don't know everything. I realize everyday how much I don't know.
I like to think of myself in mommy school. My teacher is God, and occasionally, my children are the teachers.

In this school, graduation is not the goal. Every mommy will have a different goal. My goal, is raising children who are dependent on God. Children who are respectful, compassionate, and courageous. I want them to love God with all their hearts, and be a light wherever they go.

Every day I have to learn what God wants to teach me. Because raising these kind of children, doesn't happen by accident.

How does God teach me, in this mommy school, you may be wondering?
Sometimes, He shows me things in His Word. And I find encouragement and strength to face the day.
Other times, He teaches me through house work. I'm not talking about I learn how to cook better, or clean better.  Although, that should be a goal. He teaches me perseverance, when I want to quit. He teaches me calmness when I feel overwhelmed. And the list could go on.
He also teaches me through my children. Their words help teach me but also their actions. Children have a way of humbling their parents and bringing out faults that need to be dealt with. Sometimes, we don't see the error of our ways, until our children bring it out of us.

Every person has different things they need to learn. We are not all in the same 'grade'  at 'school'. You might have mastered skills that I'm struggling with, or vise versa.

In my mommy school, God is teaching me a few things. And here's what I'm learning.

I am learning that love works better than a strong word sometimes.  My children, know how to push my buttons, so to speak. They are with me all day, and sometimes, they do things just to annoy me. I'm only human, and in the flesh, I'd respond by yelling or getting frustrated. That does not work, and a soft answer and a loving response speaks more than anything done in anger ever could.

I am learning that mercy should be generously giving sometimes. Discipline is definitely needed, but sometimes, Mercy is needed instead of discipline. We all make mistakes, and forget what we are supposed to be doing. Children are no different. They get distracted and forget. If they are not will fully disobeying, but are acting like a child, mercy should be applied. Sometimes, I get upset when my children act like children. It might be hard to believe, but they are not going to be little adults.

God is teaching me to be more understanding. I have some fussy boys. Two of my boys fuss over almost everything. Sometimes I wonder if they know what they are fussing about. Fussing gets old very fast. If I try to understand why they are fussing, then a solution can be found. But also teaching them to use their words in communication could help the situation not escalate to fussiness stage. My two boys that fuss alot are 3 and 5. It's hard sometimes to stop and be more understanding.

I'm learning that everything doesn't have to be perfect. Im not a perfectionist, but I like to have everything done. I have a hard time sitting still if things need to be done. I think all the housework has to be done each day and I can't relax if something isn't finished. I need to be more like Mary, and sit at the feet of Jesus instead of being like Martha, and laboring constantly. It's good to have a clean house, but it's not good to be unbalanced, or stressed.

 God is showing me that it's ok to give yourself some grace. No mother is Super Woman. We can't do it all. I think I'm supposed to get all the housework done, homeschool three children, take care of a baby and toddler, potty train, cook, and whatever else I have to do each day. But if something doesn't get done, it's not the end of the world. I really have a hard time with that.

I'm learning to laugh more. Sometimes I can be kind of serious. I have so much on my mind, like everything that needs to get done that I forget to enjoy the little things in life. Children are such a blessing, and sometimes we just need to get on their level, play with them, laugh with them, and be silly. They will never forget those memories.

If you are in this mommy school with me, I hope you listen to God and learn all He has for you. And make this a great school year. Before you can teach and train your kids, sometimes we need God to work on our hearts and in our lives. Life is a journey,  let's have teachable spirits, and not miss the opportunities God places in our lives to learn.

When God Has Another Plan

My youngest child is 6-weeks-old. He is such a joy to have. He's so precious. I love him so much.

But if it were up to me, he wouldn't even be born.  That might be a hard statement to understand. Let me go back in time to August 2016, and maybe then you'll understand. 

I love my children, and want everyone I have. We had four children, but I was really praying for baby number five. My youngest was 13 months old. 

On August 6, I wasn't feeling quite right, so I took a pregnancy test.

 It was positive! I was so excited. God had answered my prayers. The baby was due on my birthday. We told the children, and they were excited. Abby really wanted a sister, and wouldn't stop talking about it. 

It seemed like life was going great. But in the back of my mind, I wondered if something was wrong. I wasn't feeling sick like I normally would. I did have pregnancy symptoms so I didn't worry too much. 

A couple of weeks went by, and I was just excited for what the future held for my family. 

But my world was about to change, and I'd experience heartache and sadness. Something happened, and I called my husband crying, I didn't know if we were losing the baby or not.

I remember telling God through tears, that I would still love and serve Him if He took my baby. 

 We spent 10 hours in the ER, running tests and praying alot. I tried to find every word of hope and encouragement in the doctor's words, because I needed hope to cling to. I wanted this baby, it was loved already.  I had prayed for this baby, and I wanted to keep it.  The doctor sent us home not really knowing what was going to happen.  We would just have to wait and see. 

A few days past, and we did have a miscarriage. It was really hard on me. I cried nonstop. I didn't understand. My heart was broken. 

My 3 -year-old reassured me, that the baby was in heaven with God. 

On August 23, I wrote this in a journal. 

" God put Your arms around me, I'm struggling right now. I praise You for Your goodness and love. I don't understand Your plan. I wanted to keep this baby. But you might have different plans.  Your will is always best, even if it's hard."

The tears didn't stop flowing for days, but slowly God was healing my heart. I had to accept that He had another plan. God sees the whole book of our lives when we only see the chapter we are in.  Even when we go through a valley and we can't see the sunshine, God is there. 

I know a lot of families go through miscarriages, but it's often not talked about. Women often go through this heartache alone. Whether it's a early miscarriage or a little bit later, it still hurts. And it takes time to heal. 

What helped me was writing a letter to the baby. 

Here's what I wrote, and even though it's personal, I hope it helps someone else who is going through this. Because you are not alone. 

" To my precious baby, 

I only had you for a few short weeks, but you will always be in my heart. I never got to feel your kicks in the womb, or watch you grow by my expanding stomach. I never got to hear your heartbeat. 

I will never hold you in my arms, or embrace your sweet little body. I will never be able to kiss your soft cheeks or see your gentle smile. I will never hear your laughter as you play, or comfort you when you cry. I will never see you as you run around the house playing with your sister and brothers. I will never be able to tell you about Jesus, but then, you could tell me about Jesus, for you have seen Him. I will never watch you grow and develop into your own little personality. I will never hear your voice, as you learn to say, 'Mama.' I will never get to do so many things that I had hoped to do once I saw that positive test. 

But you will never have to feel the pain and sorrow of this life. You will never know sin or hurt. You are in a wonderful place. I wanted you so bad, but God wanted you more. And I know one-day, I will see you again. I take comfort in knowing that you are safe in the arms of Jesus."

So, I'm going to go back to the beginning of this post where I left off. I hope you understand the statement I made. It was, if it were up to me, he wouldn't even be born.

I mean because I would have kept the baby that God took.  I am so glad that God's plan, though different than mine, is always better. I could not image life without my little guy. If I would have known then, what I know now, the miscarriage would still have been sad, but maybe I wouldn't have been so sorrowful. 

In life, we have many instances where we pray and beg God for something. We hope and cling to His word. But sometimes, God does answer with a no. It might be heartbreaking and not understandable, but God's way are higher than ours. We might not always understand the 'why' of God's plan, but we just have to trust that He knows best. 

So, no matter what you are going through, lean on God, even when God has another plan, He makes no mistakes. 

What's in a Number?

Do we measure our lives by numbers? I mean, really, let's think about it. Do we think our life is prosperous if we have a certain number of dollars in the bank?

Are we living the American dream if we have a certain number of cars in our driveway?

Are we better than others when we see the number of clothes we have in our closet?

Are we technology savvy when we examine the number of smart items we own?

Do we feel socially accepted when our list of Facebook friends exceeds a certain number?

Are we living it large when we have a house with a greater number of rooms than family members?

I could go on for a while. But my point is, it seems like more is better in every aspect of life, but one.

And that's children.

When people find out I have five children, they kind of feel sorry for me, or think I'm crazy.


How is it a person can have more material possessions and everyone envies them? But let that same person have more than the average of two children and they are no longer envied, but pitied.

 I may be tired, because I have five children. I may not get much of a break from little people all day. I might pick up hundreds of toys daily. I might change lots of diapers and constantly feed little ones. My clothes might be stained with spit up. I may not get much sleep. But hear this, my heart and arms are full.

Every hug, every smile, every coo is worth it. Hearing, " You're the best mommy ever," mutiple times over is worth it.  So, I'll continue to wash lots of dishes, fold mountains of clothes, and clean up alot of messes, because to me it's all a blessing.

Yes, it's tiring, but I'm not living for myself, I'm living for Him. And all these things remind me, that God has giving us the gift of life for another day.

So, I ask what's in a number? Well, for me, God has blessed us with five children to raise for Him. Five children to share our lives with. Five little ones to laugh with. Ten little hands to hold. Five little hearts to mold for Him. We are raising five lives that could change the world.

If you have more than the average amount of children, remember anyone can live for material things, but not everyone is willing to raise a big family.  Enjoy life, and live like every child is a blessing, because they are.

Reasons why I homeschool my children.

Some might think that the biggest reason why I homechool my children is because I was homeschooled as a child. I wasn't homeschooled until high school. So, what motivates me to devote alot of time and energy into schooling my children.
Some families only homechool because they don't want their children in public school, which is an understandable reason. But there has to be more motivation than that.

1. God has called me to homechool my children. I really believe that God has placed it on my heart to educate my children at home. I love homeschooling. Everyday isn't easy, but that doesn't change my calling. If God calls you to do something, you don't quit, even on the discouraging days when it seems your children aren't listening or learning like you want.

Does God call everyone to homechool? No, He doesn't. And frankly, not every family can. Not every mom can stay home, some have to work. God's plan isn't the same for every family. God does allow some children to go to public or private school to be a light in the darkness. We should not look down on those that don't homechool. Sometimes we get the mindset that our way is best, and those who send their children to school aren't doing what's best for their family.  We can only answer for our family, and that's what we should focus on.

2. I like the freedom that comes from homeschooling. I think it's important to decide what my children learn and don't learn. My husband and I pick the curriculum and the style of our homeschool. We don't have to allow our children to learn athestic and evolutionary worldviews, and whatever else they learn in public school that is against what we believe. The wonderful thing about homeschool is, not every homechool is going to look the same, teach the same, or operate the same. And that's ok. That's the freedom associated with homeschool. The parents decide what's best for their family.

3. I like the safety measure I get from school at home. I take comfort in knowing where my children are during the day.  I don't have to worry about all the crazy things that might happen at a public school. They are safe at home with me, and that's reassuring.

4. Another reason is flexibility. In public school there's not much flexibility. But it's quite the opposite for homechool. I decide the days we do school, the time we start and finish school, and the breaks we take. As long as I follow my state's guidelines, I have flexibility to adjust school as needed when situations arise. We can go slower or faster if one of my children is struggling or excelling. I could do school outside if it was nice weather. The list could go on. It's a very desirable way to do things.
I could go on and on about the benefits of homeschooling but time would not allow that.  I can say that it's a precious thing teaching my children and seeing their excitement once they understand a new concept. It's such a big responsibility taking on the role of educator, but having your children so near, is worth every sacrifice and struggle. I think the time we invest in our Children will never be regretted. We might regret many things in life, but spending so much time with our children will not be one of them.  I thank God for the privilege to homechool and look forward to this journey my family and I are on.

I'm Back!

It is clearly evident, by the date of the last blog post, that I have not written in a while. I am going to try to be more faithful. I love writing, and believe words are a tool to encourage and uplift others. I want that to be a goal of the blog. We all get discouraged and low, but we don't have to stay that way.
I want to help the struggling mom, who is overwhelmed, because I've been there, more days than not.
I want to encourage the homeschooling parent, to keep going, don't quit even when it's hard.
We are all on this journey of life. Our paths may look different, but we are all on a journey. Let's help each other, and not hinder each other. You never know what impact a friendly word, or a simple smile can make in the life of others.

And those of us with kids, let's make sure to start at home. Those little ones God has blessed us with,  deserve to be cherished and loved, even on the bad days. These little ones encourage me to live for the Lord, because they are always watching, I want them to see a mommy who loves God no matter what day it is.