Our little miracle

On January 10,2010 I found out my dream of being a mommy was gonna come true. We were so very excited. God had given us the desires of our hearts. And we couldn't thank him enough for his goodness.

The pregnancy was kind of rough. I was sick all the time and couldn't gain any weight. Even after 20 weeks I was still getting sick. I leaned on God for strength because I didn't have any by myself.

We found out we were having a little girl. And everything looked great. I was so excited. I had prayed for a little girl and God had answered my prayers.

We had some complications. At 24 weeks I had to go to the hospital with awful back pain and contractions. I was so scared, I didn't know what was going on. They gave me a shot to try and stop the contractions and medicine, for the kidney infection. My biggest concern was my baby would be born and she was not developed for that at all. We prayed and God gave me comfort and helped me through that time.

At 28 weeks we were at the hospital again with some complications. They really didn't know what was going on and I was once again concerned for my daughter's health. But God was a very present help in my time of trouble, and I just had to trust him.

I can say that it doesn't matter how big the trial you are going through seems, no problem is too big for God. And when it seems like everything is going wrong and life is upside down lean on the One who knows what's happening. He's God, and in control.

At 32 weeks I was admitted into the hospital again. Only this time, I wasn't going home. When I arrived at the hospital I was dilated 5 cm and they really didn't give me much hope of stopping the labor. I cried and cried. I knew at that point that my baby would be a preemie. I didn't know what to expect. I'm not sure if you can be fully prepared for that moment. I had a hundred thoughts going through my mind, and none of them were helping the situation.

The next few moments they did whatever they could to temporarily stop my labor. The bad thing was the hospital didn't have a nicu unit so they were trying to stop it enough to get me transferred to a hospital that did. They talked about a helicopter transport, but praise God I was stable enough to go by ambulance. The hour journey lying on a stretcher without any loved ones was scary. The whole unknown was scary.

When we got to the other hospital we didn't know what was going on. Nor did it seem like anyone else did. We were giving false hope by some that I could maybe go home on bed rest and everything would be fine. But that was not the case. I was on magnesium for days, which makes you feel completely awful. I was getting sick, I wasn't allowed to eat, I had blurred vision, very hot, i couldn't feel my legs they were completely numb and just miserable. But it didn't matter to me how I felt because the medicine was helping my daughter stay unborn at least until we could get all the steroid shots.

I was finally taking off the magnesium and I felt so much better. I was still being monitored to see if I'd need a blood transfusion. They said my baby was doing so well, she was actually helping me physically. But after this things happened fast, and before I knew it I had delivered a 3 lb 13 oz baby girl.

I only held her for a sec but when I held her she opened her eyes and looked at me. It was so precious. I was finally holding God's gift to us. She was rushed away after a minute or so and everyone left. I was left alone. I had just delivered a baby, yet my arms were empty and my heart aching. I couldn't help but cry. It had been an hour or so and I still hadn't seen my baby but for a minute. And I didn't know how she was doing. I can't even describe the pain I felt. I had just been through so much and my baby was taking away from me. Separated for I didn't know how long. But God's grace was just what I needed. And he was there for me even when it seemed no one else was.

A video preview of the next post: Life in the NICU