Life update

 

I haven’t updated this blog in years. So, what’s happened in almost five years? Well, we moved to TN in September 2022. NC will always hold a special place in my heart, having spent my teenage and young adult years there. Not to mention, most of my children were born in NC. My family lives there, so it’s a special place. But Robert and I determined before we even met that we would follow God wherever He led us.

God opened a new chapter of our lives and directed us to uproot our lives in NC and move to East TN. Sometimes we don’t know the ‘why’ of God’s plan, but we follow Him, seemly blind to some people. But I call it faith. I’ve learned a lot about faith. A faith that no matter what comes, knowing God is truly in control. Having faith doesn’t mean that life will be worry-free and easy. It just means amidst the valleys of life; I have a strong tower that I can lean on. Emotions waver like the wind, but God is unchanging. I am confident in Him.

I look back over the past months, and I see that He alone has met all our needs. Sometimes I wish life was easier. Then I ask myself which would I rather have? A life of ease where we have no financial burdens and I casually pray or a life totally dependent on Him, knowing if He doesn’t meet our needs, no one else will. Imparting to my children a faith that can move mountains. I want a genuine relationship with God. Not one where I ask and take, and it never goes in depth. But one that is filled with sweet communion and praise even if He answers ‘no’ to all of my prayers. He is still worthy and I should praise Him for who He is, not what He blesses me with. And if you know me today, you know how blessed I am.

Not long after moving to TN, my seventh son, our eighth child, was born. Some people think eight is a big number, but I have wanted and loved every child God has lent to us. I’m not a super mom or woman. I fail too much to count, but I believe I’m living for what really matters. There’s nothing wrong with women working outside the home and sending their children to daycare or school. But that’s not the calling God has in my life. God has graciously allowed me to stay home and take care of my children. I don’t have to worry about so much because my children are close by. Homeschooling is difficult sometimes, but there’s beauty in it.

I admit, sometimes I take the mundane tasks of life for granted, but I am so thankful God has allowed me to stay home and care for my own children. Does that mean my house is always clean and the days are smooth? If I claimed that I’d be a liar. Life is messy and chaotic, yet there’s beauty in that. God molds me every day, and He uses my children to point out my failures. Showing me how I can be more like Him. Life with eight children ages thirteen to one is never dull. It’s a wonderful adventure. One I wouldn’t trade for anything. And there’s no other person I’d rather share my life with than my husband, Robert.

I’ve been writing for a long time. But I take breaks every once in a while. I decided this year that I enjoy the entire process of self-publishing. I love making book covers, editing, formatting. So, I’ve been doing it all since a couple of books ago. God made me to be a writer. I’ve had stories in my head since I was a child. But most of the stories I had written before 2020, I threw away. They are not the quality they are today. God has been working in my life, developing my voice and my creativity. So, I really like where I am on my writing adventure. My goal isn’t to be a best-seller who makes lots of money. My goal is writing fictional stories that not only entertain, but show the lowliness of life and how God can pick up a life and swipe away the darkness, revealing a life shining for Him.

Life is good, and God is my song in the uncertainties of tomorrow. I don’t know how regularly I will update this blog, but I will try to update it casually. I’m not on social media besides for my writing, so I don’t get on social media and share pictures or talk about my life. But on this blog, I can do that some.

 

I hope y’all have a great weekend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Families

Families are precious. Not all families are created equal, so to speak. But having a family is a gift. You only have a certain amount of time with your family. Only God knows how long you have your family members for. When that time is up the only thing left is memories. How you interacted with your family members determine what kind of memories you have. If you had a poor relationship, then you may have memories filled with regret. If you had good relationships then you have precious memories.

I know there are many members in a family. Sometimes not everyone is going to get along. Life is real, and so are disagreements and arguing.  Sometimes it's hard to understand harsh words and actions.

I try to see the underlining problems that stem from harsh words. We have all been hurt. No one is exempt from hurt. Sometimes emotional pain and hurt takes longer to heal than physical pain. Hurt runs deep. Sometimes the feelings of rejection and hurt never go away. We are controlled by our emotions. Sometimes things that happened in the past keep triggering our hurt and it makes it raw again.

Forgiveness is harder said than done. I know some people don't seemly deserve forgiveness, but neither do we. Without God, we have nothing to glory in. We are wretched and miserable.

I think alot of families are throwing their family unity out the door and making the devil's job of destruction easy. The devil is good at destroying things and people. And we are so selfish and blind that we let him tear our families apart without a fight. And the ones that suffer the most are the children coming after us.

Not everyone has to agree. Instead of disagreeing and moving on. Often times we devour each other. Maybe not literally, but with our words. Words are very powerful. And what we say can't be taken back.

Sometimes I get so caught up in the emotion of the argument, that I forget what is really important. I have "guilty" stamped on my forehead.

Time is quickly fading. I see that now, more than ever. We don't know how much time we have left. But we can embrace now, and live to the fullest.

It's time to put the past behind us. Our feelings of hurt and disappointment shouldn't control us anymore. We can't waste our lives being bitter or upset with others. Life has far more meaning than that.  It's time to grow up and start fresh with those we have broken relationships with.

I know you may think that you don't need a family, but you do. God knows what we need and He has given it to us. Maybe your family needs you more than you need them. Don't rob your family of the blessing of you.

Family can be a beautiful thing, not just a dreaded word. But we have to work at relationships. We have to mend broken fences. We have to try while we still have our family with us. If we let this opportunity slip by because we are too prideful, then we will be filled with regret.

So in short, love, forgive, and live with the blessings God has given us. Family is not forever, but memories do last a lifetime.

More importantly, are we showing our lost family members what life in Christ is all about? Or are we turning them away by our hypocrisy?  Life is forever. Are we pointing our family members to eternal happiness or are our lives leading  them to eternal damnation? I know we can't make that decision for anyone. The decision to accept or reject Christ is their own. But we can influence them by our words and actions. This is what life is all about. The petty arguments are just distractions to steal our focus off of what really matters.

Let's determine to heal shaky relationships and seek peace. The world has so much hate and anger already, let's make our family a place of peace and rest. Let's extend grace to those that are difficult to get a long with, and use our words to help and not hurt others.

Life

   I haven't written in quite sometime. But I want to try to make more time to write in this blog. 

I am a busy mom to six precious children. I spend most of my day taking care of my children, cleaning my house, and homeschooling. But I am truly blessed. 

  Life is precious. Life is not always easy. There are hard times and discouraging days. I have seen emotional battles as well as physical ones. Through everything, I have seen God's mighty hand work. Being a Christian doesn't mean life will always be easy. It means that I will always have Someone to carry me in the dark valleys of life. 

I see the hard times, but I try to dwell on God. He can handle our biggest problems. He even cares about our small problems. God still amazes me. I wake up feeling blessed with each new day. The hugs and kisses I receive everyday, are small rewards, but they mean a lot to me. I am just so blessed to have a wonderful husband and 6 wonderful children. 

Yes, life is busy, and full of messes. I am constantly cleaning up spills and stopping wrong behavior. I hear lots of fussing and fighting. I get tired, and overwhelmed sometimes. I fold way too much laundry daily. But I count my blessings as I am doing the mundane things of life. God didn't have to bless with me such a precious family, but He did. I don't deserve them. I raise my voice too much, and fall short of being a godly wife and mom. But God doesn't give up on me. He sees what I can be, not exactly what I am right now.  With God's help, I can run this race. 

I see God's blessings all around me. I am so thankful for this life. My hands may be full, but my heart is also full. Being a parent is worth it. It's the hardest job, but it is all worthwhile. 

If life is too overwhelming for you, count your blessings. Your blessings far out weigh your problems. This doesn't make the problems go away but it does help us to focus more on God. 

Our 6th Blessing From God.

I have not posted anything in quite a while. I have been busy and have neglected this blog. But I thought I should write about our 6th child's birth, more so for myself than anyone else. But if you find encouragement from reading it, then praise the Lord. 

On February 3, 2019, we went to the hospital because I wasn't sure if we were in labor or not. I had been having contractions for days and I hadn't been feeling well. After an exam, I was only 3 cm dilated and I had the option of going home or walking around. I chose to walk around. We had two hours to walk around the hospital until my next exam. 

For two hours my husband and I walked around the hospital. My contractions were 5 minutes apart. But when I was hooked up to the monitor it showed every 35 minutes. So we were able to go home. One doctor told me I was going to have a baby soon but not tonight. 

I have a high pain tolerance, and this is my 6th child, so I was told to come back when my contractions were 3 minutes apart for an hour. 

We got home around 8 something that evening. When we went to bed I had contractions all night. But I didn't think anything of it. 

On February 4, I woke up still having contractions. I started timing them at 6:50 A.m. I was having contractions every 2 to 3 minutes. The pain wasn't that bad so I figured it was nothing. I had contractions for days and figured it was like the previous days. I also did not want to go back to the hospital for nothing. 

My husband left to go do some work and my contractions picked up. They started getting more intense. I scheduled a doctor's appointment with the midwife for 11:20.  My Mom came over and my husband came home in time for me to go to the appointment. I was really in pain, and I was crying. 

I have had other natural births. I also had a son who was born rather quickly when we arrived at the hospital. We were 8 cm dilated with my third child when we got to the hospital. I wanted labor to go fast like with his. My two labor and deliveries after my third child were long to me. I walked around the hospital for hours until they were born. I prayed that this time would be fast. I even joked that it would be nice being fully dilated and making it to the hospital just in time for delivery. 

By the time we arrived to my doctor's appointment I was in so much pain. I couldn't move through the contractions and I was crying. I don't normally cry a lot. So I felt bad about crying.  

 I told my husband if I was only dilated like 4 cm, there was no way I could do this. He knew we were having a baby today. I, on the other hand just didn't know. I knew the pain was real but I just didn't know. 

When the midwife arrived in my exam room, I was still having awful contractions. She was talking me through them. After the exam she said I was 6 cm dilated. I thought that it was a lot of pain to only be 6 cm. I was also shaking. She told my husband to drive straight to the hospital so the baby wasn't born in the car. She also told me to keep moving. When I got out of the clinic I didn't know if I could walk anymore. It was just painful. But my husband said we had to. 

One thought I kept thinking was, how I was ruining the image of birth for some of the people in the doctor's office. I was in labor and some might not have experienced that yet, so I might have terrified some people. I didn't scream or anything, I just looked awful and I was crying. 

When we arrived at the hospital, maybe 5 minutes later, I had to stop and breathe through the contractions and all of that. I was wheeled back in a wheel chair. I always chose to walk but they told me I wasn't allowed to walk. 

When we got in a room, another midwife was there and they were bringing out the baby warmer, bassinet and all the things for labor. I told the midwife that I needed some pain medicine because I couldn't do this again.  

She told me to just see how far along I was before we decided. After the exam I was fully dilated. She said the midwife at the clinic had lied to me and we were 7/8 cm dilated at the clinic. She didn't want to scare me so she didn't tell the truth. I realized that we could have had the baby in the van or in the hospital lobby. But praise God we didn't. 

Of course, I did not get any medicine. I did not need it anyways. I was already at 10 cm dilated, and I had prayed through the pain. Knowing I was going to meet my son soon really helped.  

My midwife broke my water. I had to wear an oxygen mask because the baby's heart rate was not stable. (I learned it was because of the cord being wrapped around his neck 3 times.) I pushed for 15-20 minutes and our son was born. He had the cord wrapped around his neck three times so the midwife took care of that fast. It was such an amazing feeling knowing that God had answered so many prayers in my son's birth. They laid him on me for a minute and then they had to take him. After a few minutes, he was placed back on my chest and I got a look at God's precious gift to us. I was so overjoyed that I cried. I was also so happy that it was finished. It was a lot of pain and it happened so fast. He was born at 12:33 pm. Remember my doctor's appointment was at 11:20 and my son was born at 12:33. That was cutting it close I know, but it was amazing and I'm so thankful it was fast. 

My son is 3 days old, but I look back and see God's hand in every step of this labor. I can't praise Him enough for working everything out, and blessing us with another child. 

I know some would say that 6 children is a lot, but their opinion doesn't matter to me, but God's does. And I am so happy with the family that I have. God has blessed us with one daughter and five sons. I truly believe that God has made no mistakes when he has placed our children in our care. 

Hours later my mom, her husband, and my five children visited the hospital. They were so excited to finally meet the baby that they have asked about for months. My 18 month old wasn't sure about the baby, but I knew he would love him. 

We went home the next day. We like to stay for 24 hours in the hospital and go home if everything with the baby and I are well. We didn't go home at the 24 hours mark but by 6 or so we were discharged and we were excited to finally be going home and starting our adventure as a family of 8. 

I can say that God is good and He truly does answer prayer. He still amazes me today, and I never want to get over that amazement. 

Introducing our son Gideon Nathaniel West

. He was 6 lbs. 14 oz. and 19 inches long.

Brokenness for sin

Children are such blessings. And new life is a gift. But it still breaks my heart when I hear about girls getting pregnant out of wedlock. What is sad is when the girl's parents rejoice when their daughters have fallen into sin. Instead of shame, the girls get lifted up. And sin is glorified. It teaches girls coming behind them nothing. Where are the young ladies and gentlemen that will remain pure, and abstain from fornication? It is still sin, and sin grieves the heart of God. Where are the parents that will call sin what it is? We need to teach our children what God says . I know this isn't popular, but revival won't come with sin in the church.

I know you should love the sinner, but you should not love or tolerate the sin. 

I also know people make mistakes. But sin has to be dealt with not just swept under the rug. Once sin is confessed and dealt with, then by all means, let's support and encourage them. But we can't tolerate sin. I don't care whose daughter it is. 

I have seen many girls get pregnant and no one says anything. We act like we are too afraid to say what is right. Just because a person falls into sin, it doesn't change the Word of God. We see a sin so much, that it doesn't bother us anymore. We seem to accept the sin and it loses it's sinfulness. That's not how it's supposed to be. 

It's not just fornication. If you fill your hearts and minds with immoral t.v. shows and ungodly music, it will ruin you. You can't grow as a Christian if you constantly feed your flesh. We can't act like we love Jesus when we tolerate sin through the t.v., internet, radio, and you name it. I know sin is everywhere, but it should not be consuming the church or the Christian home. 

Marriage is being attacked. God still ordained marriage between a man and a woman. I don't care if sodomy becames legal, it's still sin. 

Physical sin is not the only sin consuming the church. Bitterness, anger, unforgiveness, pride, and so on fills our lives. And I'm not exempt from this. We all sin, but we have an advocate with the Father. He forgives our sin and helps us live right. 

I'm broken hearted by the results of sin. The devil wants to destroy the Church, and he does it through the Christian. If we have sin in our camp, then we hinder God from working in our local church. 

Is there any hope since we all sin and fall short of God's glory? Jesus Christ is our hope and help. His Word cleanses us and keeps us from sin. 

Psalms 119:11

"Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee."

1 John 1:9

" If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

I want my children to know there is such a thing as holy living. We should strive for that. I'm not perfect, I fail alot. I want my children to see when you fail, you don't get out of the game. You get back up. 

We all need God's help to live for Him. And we should all be broken by sin, whether in our life or someone else's. We should not rejoice when someone falls, but weep. I want God to do great things in our homes, churches, and country. I don't want to be the hindrance that keeps God's blessings away. So when someone falls let's pray for them. We are not helping anyone by lifting sin up. Nor are we helping them by talking about them. 

Feminism and womanhood.

This past year there has been a very distinct group of individuals who make up , what I'd call the feminist movement. They loudly proclaim women's rights, (or they want you to believe that anyways.) women's choices, (at the expense of the innocent lives it kills.) and liberation from men and children. They believe women and men are equal. And not only that, they think women don't even need men. They try to reverse the role of a woman.  They are filled with anger and hatred. These feminist are not happy at all.

I would like every feminist to clearly hear my message. I am a woman, I embrace feminism, (but the word means something totally different for me.)  but I have nothing in common with them.

I embrace my God given role. God has distinctly set women apart. He has a special purpose for women. He made women to be help meets.
I don't want to climb the corporate ladder of the business world. I am completely satisfied being a help meet to my husband and a mommy to my children. I am fulfilling my God given role, and it is enough for me. I don't have to scream angrily about equal rights or whatever else because, I'm at home being who God wants me to be.
I'm not saying it's wrong for women to work outside of the home, but it is wrong when women forsake the role God has for them and try to take on the role of a man. I have no desire at all to be a man.

I think women back in the day, had it right. They were graceful women who enhanced the lives of their families. It wasn't all about them. We've raised a generation of selfish feminist who care more about themselves than they do anyone else. And the abortion rates prove my point. These feminist are all about choice. A baby is an inconvenience. It is their body and they should chose what happens to their body right? Forget about the rights of the little life that can't speak for itself. That life doesn't matter because it hinders their agenda.

These feminist are vulgar and know nothing about being a woman. They'd like my view of womanhood to go instinct. Maybe I'm old fashion and I haven't gotten a hold of this progressive feministic thinking, but God did not make a mistake when He made two distinct genders. God's plan is always better. Our homes today are in trouble because our society thinks God's ways are old and outdated.

Where does God fit in this anyways? When a person or group of people are all about women this or women that then where's God in that? The devil has blinded the eyes of so many people. It's not about us, it's about Him, and if the devil can get our focus off of what's really important than he's won.

I have one daughter, and I am going to teach her that God designed women to be different than men. Does that mean that her only purpose in life is to be a wife and mother?  Even though that's a big purpose, the answer is 'no'. I want her to be whatever God wants her to be. Right now, she wants to be a missionary, Sunday School teacher, pianist, violinist, wife and a  mommy. I will stand by her and support her in whatever direction she goes. But what's important is that she carries herself as a lady full of grace and modesty. It's important that she knows a woman isn't supposed to be walked on, or treated less of a person, a woman that loves God is of great value, and should be treated as such.

Proverbs 31:10, 30
" Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.” Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.” 

Titus 2:3-5
" The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” 

Seasons of Gratitude

  

Thanksgiving is just days away and my mind fills with thoughts of family, fellowship, and good food. I enjoy taking a day off to spend time reflecting on the blessings of life. 

My children and I normally start a thankful tree at the beginning of November, and go to the end of the month. We write one thing each day we are thankful for on a construction paper leaf and hang it on our tree. At the end of the month, our wall is filled with colorful art work reminding us of God's goodness in our lives. 

While it's nice to set this time aside for thankfulness, it's important to not lose sight of our daily blessings. 

The older I get the more I find gratitude in the simple things of life. Just waking up each morning to my family's warm embraces is reason enough to praise God. 

   I'm thankful for God's salvation, and His power to change lives. 

In a world that seems void of peace, having peace in my heart and in my home is truly a reason to thank God. 

Safety at home and when we go to different places, should not be taken lightly. God's protection is unlike any other. 

Although I don't live in a mansion, or some specially crafted home, my family and I have a place to come home to. We have a roof over our heads. We have protection from the elements. 

We are well fed and we have clean water, that shouldn't just be a convenience but a blessing. 

Often times we take for granted that we can openly read the Bible and own many copies. That is not the case world-wide, so we should count it a blessing. 

We have an abundant amount of clothing, so much so that if we didn't do laundry for days, we'd still have something to wear. We should be thankful for that. 

Even though it's not always easy, I should view being a stay-at-home mom as a tremendous blessing from God. Not everyone gets to homeschool their children. It's a sacrifice that we should not take for granted. 

We should be grateful for the love that surrounds us. Most importantly we should be thankful for God's love. His love is unending. 

I remember many times before I got married of being stuck different places because my car wouldn't start, so I'm thankful for a van that is reliable. 

  I am grateful that we have electricity.  We have had the power go off during storms and         it reminds me of how blessed we are to enjoy this convenience.

  I am thankful that I can see God's beautiful creation. I am grateful that I can hear                     amazing  sounds and precious words like, 'I love you." I'm thankful that I can walk and move  around without difficulty. I'm thankful that I'm in my right mind. 

We should be thankful for the littlest things. If we can be thankful for the little things we will definitely be thankful for the big things. Normally big things don't make up our days, but little blessings that may not mean a lot to others, but things that make our days special. 

 There is a set season of gratitude, but let's make every season a season of gratitude. Let's  make every day a day of thanksgiving to God. He blesses us way beyond we deserve.